9 Goal spectacle from the Vets
By Keir Wingrove
Airshot Burnham tries to grab limelight from Hat trick Hero Hassan!
After much medication, unguents & exhortation SCFC Vets managed to gather the required number of bodies, despite a few last minute drop outs for nefarious reasons, to battle the mighty Woods.
They also appeared to be suffering from a similar distemper as they had 5 drops outs on the day.... it even affected the ref who dropped out a hour before the game.
However, County are made of sterner stuff than that & the we took to the field with a blend of old age, experience & more old age....
After much tactical talk of midfield diamonds, wingbacks, etc. our tactical genius of a Manager, Stumpy, tried to get one over the oppo with the old 4 – 4 – 1 formation.... with Brownie playing the false 9 from the side-lines.
Fortunately Tim ‘Numbers’ Wakeford spotted the cunning ploy & summoned Brownie onto the playing surface.
Ryan, who kindly volunteered to ref the first half, got us underway with the line up of Watt, Lovett, Dickinson, Lewis, Wingrove, Brown, Kirk, Wakeford, J Anderson, Bateman & Hassan.
County were immediately on the front foot trying a combination of short passing & long balls up to Hassan. It wasn’t long before Ish was curling the ball into the top corner to take County one up. However, in a brief foray into our half Woods won a free kick on the edge of our box which was dispatched beyond Watty by their skipper to equalise.
County immediately hit back when Brownie & Cliffy combined on the right hand edge of our box & the latter was barged over for a penalty which Brownie immediately claimed & calmly slotted away to take his total to 6,503.2 goals for County... or something like that.... I honestly lost the will to live when he started to tell me...!
With County looking secure at the back we started to exert some pressure as the midfield diamond took over. We had a lot of the ball out on the right wing where Brownie & Cliffy combined well with the midfield. However, the next goal came from a rampaging run (honest!) up the left from by Stumpy, who cut inside, played a one two with Kirk, & found Ish who slotted away from a tight angle to make it 3-1.
Kirky blazed over bar from distance shortly afterwards but the 4th wasn’t long away with County now dominating & it came from a lovely through ball by Tim which Ish dispatched away for his hat -trick.
At this point County were threatening to run away with it, so Hassan was duly despatched to side lines & we brought our real speed merchant on; Matrix.
We continued to dominate until half time & the 5th came when Jeff found Bateman on diagonal run into the box & he slotted into the bottom left hand corner; so 5-1 at half time.
We rolled the dice for the second half & brought Kerby on for Dicko, Burnham for Bateman & Aldeiri for our skipper Cliffy.
Dicko kindly picked up the whistle to start the second half. However, Woods had fortunately managed to find some younger legs over half time & the second half proved to be a much closer affair.
County continued to dominate with Aldeiri making great strides up the left hand side. It was through this that our 6th came – an interception in midfield, Ryan fed Malik who made up ground on the left before finding Burnham at pace (his words not mine!), who cut back inside onto his trusty right peg & curled into top right corner from distance (some might say it was a miss hit cross that wafted into corner from a sudden breeze..... but who would be as harsh to deny a man his plaudits).
We made a couple of subs to replace ageing limbs with ageing limbs - Hassan on for Brownie & Cliffy for Lewis.
It was at this point that County produced their classiest moment of the match, courtesy of Chris ‘Ronaldo’ Burnham.... an interception in midfield, the classic Burnham drag back, a pirouette followed by the biggest ‘airshot’ seen in Christendom as he fell on his gilded behind... pure class.... you don’t get that in the Premiership!
Shortly afterwards, another incisive County move saw Ish ‘imitation’ Hassan through on goal, he steadied himself, gave the keeper the eyes, swung his trusty left foot, missed the ball completely & fell flat on his back..... “& verily this move forever more shall be known as, The Burnham!”
County weren’t having it all their own way & Cliffy was lucky not to get his marching orders (according to the Chairman) when he hauled their No.8 down in the box. However their No.8 shortly got his revenge as a mistake from Cliffy saw him fed through the middle & he sprinted away & dispatched it past Watt.
County were still full of fight though; especially Aldeiri who had his customary front off & flounce. We found our 7th from an Aldeiri corner which was headed back to him, he picked out Ryan in the box who looped it in over keeper & off under side of bar.... the latter was heard to mutter ‘that’s only my third goal’ for the club as he skipped back – nothing to worry about here Sniffer!
So, a 9 goal spectacle with Lovett getting assists on both their goals (according to the Chairman!), Hassan a hat trick & lots of aches & pains the next day. A a first win for a long time for the Vets!
Thanks to every one for turning out for the game, Normie, Cliffy, Malik & Ish for all their help in organising it, Leslie for the chilli back at the club & to Chris for creating more legends. Guys, as ever it's an absolute pleasure doddering around a pitch with you old fools.
I’ll see if I can get a final game for May 13th but we already now have games booked with Finchleans & Woods for Sep, Oct Nov & Mar next year... roll on 2018/19!
MOM – Could be Burnham for that moment; but deservedly to Hassan the hat trick hero!